The Last Supper

Why does starting a new eating plan always feel like a death sentence?  The moment you set a date to begin more healthful eating, you immediately begin mourning the loss of all the things you WON’T be able to eat.  So you begin planning the Last Supper.  The very last, most ridiculously fattening meal that, by most standards, should send you into instant cardiac arrest.  I will not list in detail for you, what my last weekend (Yes, weekend) of debauchery consisted of, but let’s just say it wasn’t pretty, but it sure was good.

But old habits die hard, evidenced by the absolute foolishness that appeared on Day one of  my food journal.  I was pumped.  I was ready. But I was hardly prepared.  My schedule is a little bit out of control, as of late ,and regular eating hours are hard to establish.  Although I tried to make better food choices on the run, sometimes, I fell short. REAL SHORT!  Brownie bites (even if they are only 100 calories), and coffee is never a wise choice for breakfast.  (Hey, I was at 7 ELEVEN! These were my choices!)  Eating between meals was the biggest obstacle.   For every green thing I ate at the appointed hour, I ate several not so green things in between to bridge the gap.  This gave way to giving in completely with the promise of starting fresh the next day.  It wasn’t until Thursday that things seem to finally get on track.  The real test came on Saturday, when I went to a cookout and actually made healthy choices and didn’t over indulge (except for the dang chocolate cake! Damn that lady and her homemade icing!).  This week though, I’m a little better prepared. I went grocery shopping, allowing for healthier purse sized snacks that will tide me over between meals.  This is a lot harder than I anticipated, this food journaling, but I’m trying.

As for measurements and such, after posting and re-reading it a thousand times last week , I don’t think I knew the magnitude of what I was undertaking.  Writing down, even for my own eyes to see, what I’m putting in my body every day, is taking a huge toll on my self esteem.  I can’t deny now, not with proof written by my own hand, that I am eating crap 60% of the time.  And to add even more proof of what the 60% has done to my would progress and getting in to the dress,  is too much!   My little ego is already fragile. Don’t make me post number too!  Baby steps, folks. Baby steps.

As for the running, last week was tough.  I was in a foul mood most of the week, probably because I was either hungry or hormonally unbalanced from the crap I was eating.  So I was sluggish and blah.  Getting motivated was almost impossible.  But overall, I think I’m doing better.   I actually ran most of  lake a couple Saturday’s ago and I only stopped a few times! A whole 3.7 miles!  (Note: Although I finished, it was not without INTENSE motivation (i.e. kicking and screaming) from my Pace Coach. But I did it and I hope to finish many more, WITH my Pace Group and WITHOUT the theatrics.)

So that’s week one in a nutshell. Let’s hope it gets better during week two, huh?

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One Response

  1. Baby steps is the right approach.

    We did not start you running 3.7 miles on day one (walking intervals or no). Down the road a bit, you’ll be talking about your easy 4 mile run (no walking, and it _will_ be easy).

    So it goes with the food log. Part one is just figuring out what you _are_ eating. Part two, you’re already starting — think about what to do instead of the things you don’t want to be doing. It’ll take some trial and error. Sure raw broccoli is very good for you (and I happen to like it as a munchy), but if you don’t actually eat it, then it doesn’t do you good to carry it.

    Same, then, as with the running, start with where you really are, think of a target to get towards. And think of waypoint goals between here and there — get the crap fraction under 50%, 30%, 20%, … each is progress from where you figure you are now. Each is a good thing in its own right.

    Also good is to have some celebrations as you make progress on your food goals. I expect there’s been some of that for the running goals — if nothing else, your fellow runners and pace coach(es) cheering. So maybe not cheering, and definitely not hot fudge sundaes, but some kind of reward for yourself to mark your progress. Focusing only on the bad seldom works for long. Focus on the steps of progress works longer, even permanently.

    As always, good luck!

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