The Heavy

When I first started writing this blog, I made it very clear that my motivation for running was purely of a vain nature.  That, and the dress. Since I’ve started running, THE dress is now one of many dresses (and other assorted clothing) that I can’t get so much as an elbow in without assistance or am just too afraid to try on less I need the jaws of life to get out!  What I’m getting at people is, that I seem to be gaining weight (at an alarming rate, might I add) and I’m none too happy about it.  

Yes, I know, I’m “rebuilding my body.” “Muscle weighs more than fat.”  Blah, blah, blah. But cut me some slack here!  How much longer before this thing evens itself out?  I mean I have been careful to stay away from the sugar and the fried stuff.  I’ve all but OD’ed on salad. I’m drinking so much water you can hear it sloshing around inside of me on any given day.  So what EXACTLY is the problem?  

And maybe I wouldn’t be quite so sensitive this early in the game, if everywhere I went weren’t teeming with full size mirrors.  I went to yoga the other day and spent 90 minutes staring in the mirror at the “fun house” me trying to figure out when it got that bad and how do I make it stop!  No one would believe (myself included) that just a few short months ago I was 20 lbs lighter.  Yup, thanks to a harsh and inactive winter and a mother who believes love and banana pudding are synonymous, I woke up one morning unable to put my socks on without breaking a sweat.  

And I get it! I’m not bemoaning how I got here. I’m just trying to figure out how to get out of here.  Running was supposed to be my ace in the hole!  A chance to improve my cardiovascular health AND get me in that dress!  Sure, I can run for 12 minutes straight, but I can’t walk up a hill without rubbing the skin off my inner thighs!  Where is the balance?

Am I being a baby?  Probably. But I’m also quite sure that I’m not the only beginner frustrated at the lack of physical progress. And I know deep down that change takes time. But after weeks of aching muscles and the not so pleasant scent of sports creme, is it really too much to ask for some small sign that it’s paying off?  

Sigh.  

I’m sure many of you will think I’m just being silly.  And maybe you’re right. These things don’t happen over night. And honestly, I really like running.  I do!  I enjoy the challenge it brings;  the pushing my body a little further than I ever thought possible.   I guess I  just wish I could push my body a little further into that dress to bring this thing full circle, you know?

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4 Responses

  1. I think everyone is different as far as weight loss and running. I lost A LOT of weight last summer because I ran almost daily in the sun and I tend to sweat like a prize fighter – seriously! At the time, I was training for the Army 10-miler in October. After the race I wasn’t running as much and it wasn’t as warm but my diet didn’t change so I gained it all back – and then some! So my suggestion is to track your eating (keep a log!) because we often think we are eating less but often we’re not. And running makes you hungry(!) causing you to eat more than you need. That is definitely my issue. :o)

    Happy Running!

  2. Oh, how I relate to your frustration! I lost 60 pounds and have kept it off by running (35+ miles a week what works for me) so it is possible. BUT running by itself won’t do it. As Cass also said, it’s the old calories in/calories out. Keep a log of what you eat, and be honest with yourself as to the amount. And remember you only burn 100 calories a mile (at best–I’m small and only burn 60!). It takes 3500 to loose one pound. Keep at it and you’ll be in that dress before you know it!!

  3. Show me your journal and food diary. I want to see everything you eat and drink. Then and only then will you be able to answer that question.

  4. I agree with the other posters about keeping a food diary. Something about having to write down everything makes me less apt to reach for the less healthy choices. Another thing to consider is your activity level when you are NOT running. Recommendations are to exercise 60-90 minutes per day for weight loss. Obviously, as a beginner you shouldn’t be running that much, but you can walk, bike, swim, elliptical, dance etc. Weight training is good too, especially for us women. – Cindy

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